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A veteran has miraculously survived shooting himself in the face with a shotgun and almost drowning in his own blood after he spiralled into a depression when he was kicked out of the army. 

Joshua Duncan, 26 from Phoenix, Arizona had been in the United States Army with a Military Occupational Specialty in communications for two years when he was kicked out for a series of infractions such as being late and not being in uniform.

He described the ‘shame’ as so great that he could not bring himself to tell anyone, feeling so ‘lost and upset’ that he began to drink heavily and fell into a depression, before having to move back into his family home.

In November 2022, while putting the family’s shotgun into storage, he said how he first had the thought to shoot himself and in a ‘split second decision’ he turned the gun on himself and pulled the trigger. 

‘I thought ‘all of this could be over, I have a shotgun in my hands. I won’t be a burden to my family, they’ll feel bad for a little bit then they’ll get over it,’ he said. 

Joshua Duncan, 26 from Phoenix, Arizona had been in the United States Army with a Military Occupational Specialty in communications for two years

Joshua Duncan, 26 from Phoenix, Arizona had been in the United States Army with a Military Occupational Specialty in communications for two years

He described the 'shame' as so great that he could not bring himself to tell anyone, feeling so 'lost and upset' that he began to drink heavily and fell into a depression

He described the ‘shame’ as so great that he could not bring himself to tell anyone, feeling so ‘lost and upset’ that he began to drink heavily and fell into a depression

In November 2022, while putting the family's shotgun into storage, he said how he first had the thought to shoot himself and in a 'split second decision' he turned the gun on himself and pulled the trigger

In November 2022, while putting the family’s shotgun into storage, he said how he first had the thought to shoot himself and in a ‘split second decision’ he turned the gun on himself and pulled the trigger

In the immediate aftermath Joshua remained conscious, and managed to crawl across the carpet and knock on the bedroom wall to alert his brother Anthony, 32, in the room next door as he began ‘drowning in his own blood’.

Anthony, initially opened the door armed with an AR-15-style rifle in the fear that there could be an intruder, called an ambulance and he was rushed to Nashville Hospital.

Where he woke up screaming in pain before having to undergo multiple surgeries. 

The attempt on his life left him with damage to his tear ducts, nasal cavities, his oral socket, both his upper and lower maxilla, along with facial nerve damage and becoming deaf in one ear.

He also believes his memory has been affected by the shooting as he now struggles with maths and spelling.

Now a year later and after a miraculous recovery from his horrific injuries, the TikTok creator has had time to come to terms with what happened and hopes by sharing his story he will encourage others to ask for help if they need it.

Joshua remained conscious, and managed to crawl across the carpet and knock on the bedroom wall to alert his brother Anthony, 32. Image of Joshua's jaw.

Joshua remained conscious, and managed to crawl across the carpet and knock on the bedroom wall to alert his brother Anthony, 32. Image of Joshua’s jaw.

Joshua's suicide attempt he has left him with damage to his tear ducts, nasal cavities, his oral socket, both his upper and lower maxilla, along with facial nerve damage and becoming deaf in one ear

Joshua’s suicide attempt he has left him with damage to his tear ducts, nasal cavities, his oral socket, both his upper and lower maxilla, along with facial nerve damage and becoming deaf in one ear

Joshua said: 'I live in America so we all have guns in our rooms. I was carrying it back to my bedroom and I went to put it under my bed, which is where it goes. '[It was a] split decision'

Joshua said: ‘I live in America so we all have guns in our rooms. I was carrying it back to my bedroom and I went to put it under my bed, which is where it goes. ‘[It was a] split decision’

He said: ‘I live in America so we all have guns in our rooms. I was carrying it back to my bedroom and I went to put it under my bed, which is where it goes.

‘[It was a] split decision.

‘I thought ‘all of this could be over, I have a shotgun in my hands. I won’t be a burden to my family, they’ll feel bad for a little bit then they’ll get over it. I won’t have to deal with all these issues mentally and physically’.

‘It’s going to sound sick but I felt this relief that it was all going to be over soon. It was a sick sense of ‘it will all be over soon’.

‘Without giving it a second thought, I turned it around and I pulled the trigger.

‘Instantly, it was a moment of shock. One side of my brain was speaking to the other, like ‘did we really just do that?’

‘Like ‘yeah, you really just shot yourself in the f*cking face with a f*cking shotgun’.

‘Like all violent suicide attempters will tell you, there was a feeling of instant regret.

‘I have a big hole in my face. Because the injury was around my mouth and my throat, I started to suffocate. I was breathing in puddles of blood. I start drowning.

‘I thought ‘we need to breathe’ so I turned my injured side down so the blood would drip away from my throat.’

He continued: ‘I’m yelling for him, the best I can with half my jaw gone.

‘I’m on my hands and knees at this point and it was like someone was pouring a hot bucket of water down me.

‘It did not hurt at all, probably because of the shock. My body felt shockingly cold, like beyond cold.

‘After that he’s trying to talk to me, but I can’t hear anything. One of my ears ripped off and the other was ringing so bad.

‘My brother is the toughest guy you’ve ever met. For the first time in his life, he had concern on his face.’

Joshua was taken to a hospital where he woke up screaming in pain before undergoing multiple surgeries

Joshua was taken to a hospital where he woke up screaming in pain before undergoing multiple surgeries

However, 14 months on, Joshua has miraculously recovered and had the time to reflect on what happened, now feeling like he is less impulsive and more introspective

However, 14 months on, Joshua has miraculously recovered and had the time to reflect on what happened, now feeling like he is less impulsive and more introspective

He called on people to 'Check on your friends. Ask for help if you need it, that's the hardest part. Have those difficult conversations, even if they are difficult'

He called on people to ‘Check on your friends. Ask for help if you need it, that’s the hardest part. Have those difficult conversations, even if they are difficult’

Joshua believes had he been more focused on combat he might not have been kicked out.

He said: ‘If my training was based around keeping my team alive, I’d have taken it a bit more seriously.

‘[Being kicked out] was one of the most devastating things I’ve been through.

‘I had thousands of dollars of uniform, cold weather gear, hot weather gear.. I remember being so upset that I just threw it all in a dumpster.

‘For years, I never told anyone. Such a giant piece of shame comes with being part of something great then was no longer being part of it.

‘It definitely played a giant part [in the trajectory towards my suicide attempt]. I got out of the army and felt so lost, not knowing what to do with my life.’

However, 14 months on, Joshua has miraculously recovered and had the time to reflect on what happened, now feeling like he is less impulsive and more introspective.

He is now in a relationship and hopes that by sharing his story he can help to encourage others who are struggling to speak out, even if it’s difficult.

Joshua said: ‘I wish I could say that this attempt snapped me into a better mindset, but it took a lot of work for a long time.

‘It took a good year of having to strongly reflect and come to terms with how my life has turned out.

‘This won’t sound profound at all, but I make my bed everyday. I used to not make my bed every day.

‘Check on your friends. Ask for help if you need it, that’s the hardest part. Have those difficult conversations, even if they are difficult.

‘Give yourself time. All of this sounds so cliche, but tell someone. You have to be really blunt and say ‘if things don’t change in my life, I plan to kill myself’.

‘Sometimes you have to be really forward. Even saying it outloud for the first time.’

For confidential support, call the Samaritans on 116123 or visit a local Samaritans branch. See www.samaritans.org for details 

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Post sourceDaily mail

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