When Jilly-Anne Skinner, then 30, was off sick from work she thought the horrific pain she was feeling was from the suspected pelvic infection she had been diagnosed with. 

But five minutes later, alone in her first floor flat, she gave birth to a lifeless baby she had no idea she was carrying. 

The cafe manager, from Kent, had been taking birth control and was on a waiting list at the time for an operation for her polycistic ovary syndrome (PCOS). 

She was on new medication which she believed was the cause behind her feeling sick.

Her pleas for the last seven years for a hysterectomy having lived in constant pain from endometriosis and adenomyosis were dismissed by doctors as they felt she was too young.

Jilly-Anne had decided a long time ago she didn’t want to have children. She was told her conditions meant it was unlikely she’d ever be able to get pregnant, let alone carry a baby to full term. 

Jilly-Anne Skinner, 32, from Kent, gave birth home alone to a stillborn baby after the pain from her endometriosis masked her pregnancy

Jilly-Anne Skinner, 32, from Kent, gave birth home alone to a stillborn baby after the pain from her endometriosis masked her pregnancy

The only flowers for Jilly-Anne baby's funeral which were placed on top of the coffin. She keeps an urn containing his ashes next to a teddy bear in her living room

The only flowers for Jilly-Anne baby’s funeral which were placed on top of the coffin. She keeps an urn containing his ashes next to a teddy bear in her living room

The tiny boy was about 24 weeks when he was stillborn. Jilly-Anne never named or touched him, but affectionately calls him ‘my little one’ while an urn containing his ashes still sits in her home. 

Two years have passed since that traumatic evening in February 2022 where she was curled up on the floor waiting for paramedics to arrive. 

Not once throughout the five-and-a-half months did she ever suspect she was pregnant having been under the belief it was almost impossible for her to carry a child. 

Although her periods stopped for a few months this had been common over the years with her PCOS, and they had started again two months before she gave birth.  

‘My stomach swells two dress sizes too big during the time of my period [because of my endometriosis] and I was getting pain constantly every day and feeling more nausea.

‘I wasn’t having loads of unprotected sex or anything like that, because I know people always raise their eyebrows with this kind of thing. 

‘There was no reason basically to suspect anything was going on other than my endometriosis. That’s hand on my heart. I had no idea.’

Jilly-Anne remembers vividly every minute of her labour, as she tells me she is shaking as she recounts the awful experience. 

Thinking she had had a prolapse, she grabbed a mirror only to see two feet staring back at her. 

‘I just went, “what? what the f**k?”. And I was home alone, completely home alone, and I froze to be honest, and my body took over.’ 

Within minutes a tiny baby boy arrived, but he made no cries or whimpers of life.  

Whilst sitting on the toilet, shaking like a leaf, she called for an ambulance. 

‘I do remember, like I’m shaking a bit now, and said to the woman “I’ve just had a baby. I didn’t know I was pregnant”. She said, “how old is it?” I said “I don’t know”.’ 

Unable to get hold of her parents who lived a 10 minute walk away, a friend answered her call and rushed to her side. 

Within minutes paramedics arrived and wrapped the baby’s lifeless body in a towel and took Jilly-Anne to hospital. By now her shocked father had arrived to comfort her. 

‘I never saw the baby properly. Apart from what I saw when I was giving birth. I just couldn’t… I just didn’t want to. I think, in hindsight, it was myself trying to detach from what was going on. 

‘It seems to be my coping method was to go, “I know this has happened. But no, no, this wasn’t mine. This is just weird”. It probably sounds stupid, but it’s the only way my brain could do it at the time. I was just in shock.’

She only found out from her father a month later that the baby was a boy. A low-key funeral was held at her local crematorium six weeks later in between Jilly-Anne’s birthday and Mother’s Day. She only wanted two of her friends to attend the service.

The cafe manager has been battling to have a hysterectomy for the last seven years but doctors say 'she is too young' and may want to have children - despite being told it's unlikely she'll ever be able to have a full-term pregnancy

The cafe manager has been battling to have a hysterectomy for the last seven years but doctors say ‘she is too young’ and may want to have children – despite being told it’s unlikely she’ll ever be able to have a full-term pregnancy

‘I couldn’t cope with the impact on my family as well as my own grief, because by then it had hit me. 

‘But first I didn’t want anything to do with the funeral. I just couldn’t cope with it. You just can’t cope with anything, and at the time I was thinking this is my only experience of motherhood, because I was still pushing for a hysterectomy – if that makes sense?

‘I was in the middle of that process. And I was thinking the only time of motherhood I’m experiencing and it wasn’t planned, and I’m planning a funeral around my birthday and Mother’s Day.

‘It was just awful.’ 

What is endometriosis?

Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the womb grows in other places, including the ovaries and fallopian tubes. 

The long-term condition affects women of any age, including teenagers. 

Common symptoms include:

  • Pelvic pain
  • Period pain
  • pain during or after sex
  • pain peeing or pooing
  • feeling sick
  • difficulty getting pregnant

Treatments include:

  • Painkillers
  • Hormone medicines and contraceptives
  • Surgery to cut away the patches of endometriosis 

Source NHS 

The boy’s remains now sit in an urn next to a teddy bear in her front room. Though Jilly-Anne is unlikely to ever give him a name, she instead calls him ‘my little one’. 

‘If they had done the hysterectomy like I been begging for, then I never would’ve had to have gone through the stillbirth which has traumatised me for life. If only they had listened.’

She is still to this day begging for a hysterectomy with doctors wanting her to explain why she doesn’t want children. 

The blood loss from her periods is now so bad she has to spend the first four days of her cycle in bed.  

Jilly-Anne first noticed she wasn’t having ‘normal’ periods when she was aged 16, but her GP put it down to puberty with it even being suggested her low mood swings might be because she was bipolar. 

By the age of 22 they were getting heavier and she was having to buy thicker sanitary pads.

Her weight had ballooned by two stone. Being 4ft 11ins tall ‘it had an impact’, but Jilly-Anne couldn’t work out why she was piling on the pounds having lived a healthy lifestyle. 

Her GP still put it down to puberty but feeling like no one was listening she asked for a second opinion. She was referred to an endocrinologist at a local hospital, but any hopes of help were dashed during the 10 minute appointment. 

‘He asked me what I ate. I showed him my food diary and he said he didn’t believe me, it was self-inflicted and to go away and go on diet. 

‘I burst into tears to be honest, and said, “why, why does nobody believe me?”. And he said to me “it’s because of the size you are. You don’t get that way from not doing anything self inflicted”. Obviously, being at that age I was devastated.’

Her family rallied around her and provided a vital safety net for Jilly-Anne during a dark period. 

For a year she was met with another wall of silence amid crippling periods that left her feeling sick and needing to take time off work as her weight continued to swell by another stone. 

Having sex was also starting to become a problem with the severe pain making intercourse traumatic. 

She has been in and out of A&E for the last five years, but refuses to go unless she 'can't move' after feeling humiliated by medics the previous times she has gone to hospital

She has been in and out of A&E for the last five years, but refuses to go unless she ‘can’t move’ after feeling humiliated by medics the previous times she has gone to hospital

‘There’s girls around me and my age who are having boyfriends and a life, and I’m not going out. I’m not clubby, and I don’t wanna do anything I don’t. It kind of forced me to have quite an insular life.’ 

During a low period, she by chance stumbled across and endocrinologist in London on Google and wrote them an email. 

She was referred by her GP and after years of excruciating pain and having no answers to her mysterious weight gain she was told she had polycystic ovaries and warned it was unlikely she’ll ever be able to carry a baby to full term.

Jilly-Anne was started on a course of medication, yet over the years her periods got worse.    

‘It felt like I was hemorrhaging every time I had a period. I went to A&E a few times by ambulance.’ 

During one hot summer the uncontrollable bleeding left her feeling faint and dizzy at work and she had to dial 999. She was rushed to hospital having lost a ‘bucket load’ of blood. 

‘Within an hour I was told by the consultant to do a pregnancy test and a urine sample. I sat there bent over in agony. They told me “you’re not pregnant. Go home, walk it off, and have a hot bath”.’ 

In the last four years she has made up to six trips to A&E, but it could have been a lot more. 

‘If I have to go there it’s because I can’t move. It’s the worst case scenario for me I’ve been in. That doesn’t mean I haven’t suffered less. It’s just what’s the point of me going all the way over there to sit on a chair and be humiliated, basically, and to be treated like that? I’m wasting my time.’

Another year rolled around of her desperately turning to Google again for answers having not found any from medics. 

She searched her symptoms online and showed what she found to her endocrinologist who referred her to a gynecologist.

Medics made attempts to carry out an internal swab but both times the procedure had to be halted as Jilly-Anne was in agonizing pain.

They eventually were able to get a sample of tissue for a biopsy and told her she may have cancer after a scan showed up a clouded area. 

But thankfully the results came back clear and she was finally diagnosed with endometriosis and adenomyosis (a debilitating disorder when the womb lining grows within the womb’s muscular wall). 

After years of battling she finally had the answer she was craving at the age of 25 and made the choice that she wanted a hysterectomy.

‘I never really wanted children. I could just never see it in my life. I love kids, but I could just never see it in my life.’ 

Doctors though dismissed her pleas saying she was too young and to come back in ten years. 

‘I have just felt like I’ve been living in a prison sentence in a prison cell, and I can’t get out of my own body. 

‘That is the only way I could ever be able to describe it. I can’t control how it feels or what it looks like. And yeah, that has made me pretty suicidal at times. I won’t lie. 

‘My endometriosis and lack of help from the NHS, in anyway, has left me feeling like a failure as a woman, mother, partner and employee. Being treated like it’s all my fault at times has made it worse and made me feel invisible and completely alone.

‘Many times in my life I have been left to wonder what is the point of me when I have a life and body so out of my control. Will it ever end?’

Jilly-Anne has started a fundraising page to help cover the cost of travelling to appointments, bills, and recovery if and when she has a hysterectomy.   

Post source: Daily mail

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